Al Anon doesn’t come to your house and help you leave your spouse. No one comes and helps you pack. For a long time after I did leave, I felt like I’d gone through a ‘Hurricane Katrina’ experience, but by choice. It was as if I flipped the switch that allowed my personal hurricane to come to town. I got out safely with clothes, dog, car, computer (not in that order).
I’d read support material from Al-Anon. I understood alcoholism and its affects on family. Life with an alcoholic spouse can make the non-alcoholic feel like they are the ‘crazy one’. Add the safety concern and eventually you know you gotta’ go. Swirling ~ the aftermath ~ what you are left with, is swirling. A sense of calm is beyond your ability.
I’d read support material from Al-Anon. I understood alcoholism and its affects on family. Life with an alcoholic spouse can make the non-alcoholic feel like they are the ‘crazy one’. Add the safety concern and eventually you know you gotta’ go. Swirling ~ the aftermath ~ what you are left with, is swirling. A sense of calm is beyond your ability.
A twin size mattress (no bed frame) and blanket were placed on the floor in the corner; it seemed best located there. It wasn't pretty; but it was safe.
When reaching for a household item that no longer existed, scissors, a hand towel, items of daily life, I recalled, like a swack to the back of my head, "Oh, yes, those things are gone - I'd gone through my own personal hurricane!"
I aspired to put my shoulders back, chin up and move on assuredly, but it's so much easier said than done.
It helps to be able to acknowledge a crappy deal, for sure. Yeah, life ain't fair and I was sittin' in the middle of a big crappy deal.
Would I try to negotiate a better financial and practical situation? Probably no. For me, I had to go when I had to go. That was my ability at it's best and for me there just wasn‘t a good time to leave my spouse.
1 comment:
Thank you Patricia, You said it perfectly, my very situation. I am so depressed at the whole situation, Alanon does not help. Nothing does, but statements coming from those who have been there. Again, thank you.
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